“We understand this is a business,” said one of the Knicks players, named Amar’e Stoudemire. “We appreciate the time we had here, but we also all understood that our contracts are not really reasonable at this time. We expected this to happen.”
The move leaves the Knicks without any players for the 2013-2014 season but, on the bright side, leaves the Knicks without any Knicks players.
“We weighed the pros and cons and this was clearly the best option,” said Knicks general manager Glen Grunwald. “We had so many players making more than they’re worth that we obviously couldn’t ever decide to amnesty just one guy, so we did them all. No team in basketball has been able to get rid of this much dead weight this offseason. Even if we make no other moves until the regular season begins, I think we’ve done quite well.”
The decision was received quite well by Knicks fans, as Manhattan stores quickly sold out of Knicks jerseys without names on the back.
“I’ve never been more excited for an NBA season,” said one fan. “This is the first season in my lifetime that the Knicks won’t have any Knicks players. We’ve never had more promise.”