An growing diplomatic incident between American football team owner Robert Kraft and Russian president Vladimir Putin was resolved today when the Kraft agreed to give Putin backup quarterback Tim Tebow in order to have his Super Bowl XXXIX ring returned.
"I know Bill [Belichick] and Josh McDaniels had hopes that Tim would add another element to our offense, but we've won many games without him over the years. We'll be fine," said Kraft. "And the State Department was adamant that I do everything in my power to make this disagreement over the ring go away. I think this is a good resolution."
Kraft had previously claimed that Putin stole his ring during a 2005 meeting in Moscow, whereas Putin's representatives insisted Kraft gave it to the Russian leader as a gift. The truth may never be revealed now that both men say they are moving on.
"I am very glad with receiving this Tebow," said Putin. "He is an American superhero, yes? I think we could have much use for him here in Russia. We will test him and use him to achieve many glorious aims of the motherland."
Tebow said he is excited to be in Russia.
"All I can say is that I'm really excited. I think Russia can be a new opportunity for me and I'm excited to get to work there and prove myself to Mr. Putin," he said, while being strapped to a table in a Moscow lab and injected with a syringe. "Oh, wow. I'm getting dizzy. This is a really exciting feeling."