The city of London has been dark and seemingly vacant since yesterday's news that NFL commissioner Roger Goodell may be looking to move the Jacksonville Jaguars there.
"Look, there is no one here, okay?" said a voice believed to belong to London mayor Boris Johnson, after repeated knocks on the outside door of City Hall by a reporter hoping to ask him about the arrival of the Jaguars. "Can't you see London is not available? Maybe try Paris or Berlin."
More knocking and requests for official comment yielded no additional response.
Cars and buses were left vacant in the streets, restaurants were full of empty tables with half-eaten meals and the famed London Eye Ferris wheel was stopped mid-turn, with riders ducking below the tops of their cars in an attempt to not be seen. A hastily scrawled sign was posted outside Wembley Stadium that read: "Not a stadium. Just an old, abandoned warehouse. Go away. No Jaguars."
Jaguars owner Shahid Khan said he is excited about the move.
"While they may be pretending they're not home in hopes we'll go away, by doing so the people of London are making it clear they know we exist," he said. "That's better than the complete apathy we get in Jacksonville. We can work with this."