Casual Basketball Fan Just Happy Miami’s Gonna Burn Either Way

Casual Basketball Fan Just Happy Miamis Gonna Burn Either Way

by Ross Snow

Regardless of the outcome of Thursday night's Game 7 NBA Finals matchup between the Miami Heat and San Antonio Spurs, casual basketball fan Greg Bipp is just happy knowing the City of Miami is going to burn either way.

"I don't watch much basketball, but I watch enough to know I hate the Heat," said Bipp, a casual follower of basketball, hockey, and sometimes women's tennis. "I know I'd be sad if the Heat beat the Spurs, but I'd take solace in knowing there's going to be droves of drunken Heat fans taking to the streets causing damage after the game, regardless."

While he does look forward to the post-game reaction, Bipp does not wish for anyone's harm.

"Look, I don't want people getting hurt as much as the next guy. I just want Miami to get damaged. Heavily damaged. And another thing, I'm not saying this because I dislike the citizens of Miami or Miami as a whole. What it really comes down to is my hatred for Lebron. I think it's fair to say Miami citizens should have expected these feelings after his signing."

Miami police and fire department are well aware of the potential danger following a game of this magnitude, and they are reportedly prepared, increasing patrols and even equipping some with riot gear.

"We've been trained and drilled on events such as these many times," said Miami police officer Tim Watkins. "Not only are we prepared for a riot after the game, but we're prepared for a riot before the game, on the off chance that Lebron decides to wear a headband."