How to Write a Sports Column About Derrick Rose

How to Write a Sports Column About Derrick Rose – Image 1

Directions: Just circle a word or phrase in each list, print it out, hand it in to a major media outlet and you'll be a published NBA columnist! You're welcome!

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Derrick Rose sat on the bench in a suit and tie again last night …

… like the huge pussy that he is.
… and probably had conflicted feelings about it.
… which had to kill him, because there is no bigger competitor in sports than Derrick Rose.

As has been well documented by now, Rose was cleared to return to the court by doctors two months ago. …

… So that's that. He can play. There is no debate.
… Yet an athlete knows his body better than a doctor does.
… But who's to say the team's doctors don't want to callously rush him back to the court before he's ready, the true state of his knee be damned?

Many of Rose's teammates have played through injuries this postseason, which …

… means they are tougher and care far more than their supposed team leader.
… shows every individual's body recovers at different rates.
… don't have Rose's wisdom to wait until they are 100-percent, thereby avoiding further injury.

To a man, Rose's coaches and teammates say they are 100-percent behind him …

… But does anyone really believe they have any respect for Rose at this point? Come on. They have to hate him.
… But what they truly believe can't be known.
… And if that's what they say, then that must be exactly how they feel.

Without Rose, this Bulls team has already achieved far more than anyone expected. …

… And they could do so much more if Rose wasn't so selfish and cowardly.
… With or without Rose, this season has been a success.
… Rose's calm bench demeanor has empowered them to achieve, and for that he deserves credit, not scorn.

No athlete knows how many legitimate chances he will have to win a championship. …

… Rose may never get this close again, yet he's throwing it all away because he's "only" 99%.
… You can only do your best with the cards your dealt.
… But we can know this: If Rose comes back too soon and re-injures himself, he will never get another chance.

So there is only one solution:

… Rose must be in the starting lineup immediately, no excuses.
… Rose should consider coming off the bench later in the series if the Bulls need him.
… Rose must continue sitting out.

Because at the end of the day, the Derrick Rose's reputation will be determined by …

… the media.
… context and time.
… Derrick Rose.