Thunder point guard Russell Westbrook says he has settled on outfit for his next postgame press conference, a matching Speedo and lensless monocle purchased from one of Oklahoma City's most fashionable boutiques.
"Damn. I look good," Westbrook said while modeling the look in a locker room mirror. "Guys, don't I look good? You all are jealous, right?"
Westbrook's questions were met mostly with mumbles. Several teammates quickly exited the locker room to save themselves from having to answer. Nick Collison hid in his locker.
"Russell is obviously a huge part of this team and a lot of our success depends on him playing well and staying confident," teammate Kevin Durant said later. "So none of us want to tell him that he looks ridiculous. We just try to avoid the conversation."
Thunder sixth man Kevin Martin said the "high-fashion boutique" where Westbrook gets most of his clothes is not even a real men's clothing store.
"It's like a gag shop. Sort of like one of those Spencer's places that you see at the mall," he said. "They sell costumes, ridiculously large glasses, fake teeth, magic trick supplies, stuff like that. But Russell thinks it's a real store. He thinks it's cutting-edge. None of us have the heart to tell him."
Westbrook said he already has an eye on his next outfit, an adult-sized baby diaper with a comically large baby pin, paired with an Abraham Lincoln-style hat.
"I hear everyone in Milan is wearing these now," Westbrook said, as the teenager behind the counter who told him that tried to stifle a laugh.