Those are the words Jim Nantz used to begin his call of the Masters on Sunday, the second day in a row he opened his broadcast with the crude alteration of his famed "hello, friends" line.
Nantz worked blue throughout Saturday's broadcast and into Sunday before CBS president Les Moonves pulled him off the air. Nantz's last comment before being removed was calling Tiger Woods' bogey on No. 7 "another bed-shitting by Tiger Woods. He's taking a big-ass dump on his scorecard."
CBS's statement on Nantz's removal offered no details as to why the announcer, who is regarded as one of the most conservative and straight-laced sports broadcasters and is therefore a staple at the staid and reverent Masters, suddenly filled his coverage with filthy language rarely heard outside of a naval ship or late-night comedy club.
But a source close to Nantz said he merely wanted to make the Masters more accessible to a younger audience. "The kids fkin' love this shit," Nantz reportedly told a colleague.
While Nantz's commentary indeed caused a buzz on social media never before seen from golf and likely led to an increase in ratings, CBS may now face steep fines from the FCC for airing so much profanity during the middle of the afternoon. Nantz calling Phil Mickelson a "pussy ass bitch" for laying up on Saturday, repeatedly referring to Angel Cabrera as a "fat motherfker" and his apparent new catchphrase on made putts "Boom! He fked it right in the tits!" drew the most attention.
It is believed Nantz has been suspended indefinitely by CBS. The network also did not address the teardrop tattoo he got on his face or the barcode neck tattoo.