BREAKING: Mark Sanchez Still Employed as Professional Football Quarterback

BREAKING: Mark Sanchez Still Employed as Professional Football Quarterback – Image 1
The New York Jets waived quarterback Tim Tebow Monday morning in a shocking move that means Mark Sanchez somehow still remains employed as a professional football quarterback.

"I am as shocked as anyone, trust me," said Sanchez. "Every day I stay employed as a quarterback is both a blessing and a total and complete surprise. I am also kind of stunned that the Jets are still considered a professional football team."

The Jets had signed veteran quarterback David Garrard earlier in the offseason and drafted Geno Smith in the second round of the NFL Draft, further crowding an already muddled quarterback situation on the team.

"I had an idea that my days were numbered, considering that they wouldn't put me on the field at all last year," said Tebow. "But holy shit, how does Mark Sanchez still have a job? And, yes, I just cursed for the first time in my life. It seems 100-percent appropriate in this situation. Mark Sanchez? Guy f—king sucks."

Jets head coach Rex Ryan said he called Tebow to tell him the news.

"He wasn't happy about it and I didn't expect him to be," said Ryan. "He rightly explained to me how much Mark sucks and I couldn't disagree with a single thing he said. It's unfair to Tim. It is. But I don't have a tattoo of my wife wearing his jersey and that was ultimately the determining factor."

Tebow said he will pray for the Jets.

"I pray that they go 0-16," he said. "Although that will likely happen without God's help. I guess I'll just save my prayers for more important stuff."