Report: You’ll Probably Start Hating FGCU If They’re Still Successful 5 Years from Now

Report: Youll Probably Start Hating FGCU If Theyre Still Successful Five Years from Now – Image 1
According to several reports, you will begin hating NCAA Tournament darling Florida Gulf Coast University in a few years if they remain successful and continue making deep runs into the NCAA Tournament.

"You will tire of hearing about them and get sick of being told that head coach Andy Enfield is a genius," reads the report. "Also, you will grow increasingly jealous of him because he is a multimillionaire and is married to a supermodel. The FGCU fatigue mixed with jealousy will result in you completely loathing the program."

While you currently love the Eagles' smiling, fun-loving, alley-ooping style of play, that will come to an end in a short time. According to the report, this same style — when seen through the lens of long-term success — will appear to be arrogant and showboating and disrespectful to their opponents.

"Learn to play basketball the right way," you'll say, possibly after they knock your favorite team out of the NCAA Tournament three years from now. "This is playground basketball."

Continued success by FGCU will also cause you to suspect the program of cheating.

"How do you come from not even having a Division I team to being a power in a few years," you will reportedly say, angrily mumbling at the bar of a Buffalo Wild Wings, as the bartender cuts you off and calls a cab. "This is bulshid. Bulshid. They are cheaten. Can't respeck that. Can't … respeck it."