Derrick Rose Delays Return Until He is 345%, Possibly Has Severe Concussion

Derrick Rose Delays Return Until He is 345, Possibly Has Severe Concussion – Image 1
Chicago Bulls point guard Derrick Rose has upped his pledge that he will return from injury when he is 110-percent to 345-percent, causing concern on the team that Rose has been suffering from a severe and undiagnosed concussion.

"Oh, man. What do we do now?" said head coach Tom Thibodeau. "What if his brain has been bleeding for the past year? That would be really serious. The playoffs start in a month."

The Bulls figured Rose's previous "110-percent" pronouncement, while illogical, was nothing more than an athlete spouting a common sports cliche. General manager Gar Forman now wishes he had pushed Rose more on the initial number.

"Maybe I should have asked him if he understood numbers and percentages and how they work," said Forman. "He's a smart guy. He knows better. He has to know, if his brain is working correctly, that 345-percent is not a thing. They had to have covered that in some class in high school or at Memphis, right?"

Unfortunately, Rose — who has called his own shots in his rehab from reconstructive knee surgery — says he will not submit to a CT scan of his brain "until I feel 617-percent."

At his current rate of recovery, the Bulls are hoping to get Rose back on the court in time for the 2026-2027 season, at which point he will be a 37 year-old reserve. Vegas bookmakers currently have Chicago's odds at winning an NBA title this year at 0-percent.