America's bandwagon fans admitted today that they paid a hefty fee for overnight shipping on the Florida Gulf Coast University basketball apparel they purchased following the Eagles' surprising entry into the Sweet 16 on Sunday.
"I paid $34.95 for next day delivery," said Jeff Horman, a Peoria, Ill., resident who sports Yankees, Heat and Patriots tattoos on his calves. "The shirt itself only cost $16.99. But I need to get it as soon as possible because who knows if they'll keep advancing. If I waited for standard five-day delivery, they could be eliminated by the time the shirt arrives. Then I'd have no use for the shirt because they'd be losers."
Horman also said he wants to stat wearing his shirt immediately because his co-workers have started taunting him for being a "bandwagon fan."
"It's ridiculous. I'm not a bandwagon fan," he said. "I just like teams who care enough to win. That's why I want to show them that I've been with FGCU from the start. The start being when I heard of them last week during the Georgetown game. If I can get them to believe that, maybe they'll leave me alone about me wanting to replace my Patriots tattoo with an Alabama football tattoo."
Michael Jepsen, who owns SportsTeez.net, says his site never sold a single FGCU t-shirt before Friday night and that the vast majority of orders coming in since then have been from outside of Florida.
"These bandwagon fans personally disgust me, but this is the business I'm in," he said. "I honestly have no problem taking these loathsome people's money. And I will keep making money off them for years and years, too, because they'll always come back to buy shirts of the latest hot team. A few weeks ago I sold 15,000 Chicago Blackhawks t-shirts."
Jepsen admitted he ups his overnight shipping charges for apparel related to bandwagon teams.
"We actually refer to it as a 'douche tax' in our company bookkeeping," he said.