The New York Yankees' already suspect roster is losing player after player to injury in spring training, meaning the team will be forced to open the regular season with a greatly depleted lineup. If the team falls too far behind in April and May, it will have no chance of getting back into the race even when aging stars Mark Teixeira, Curtis Granderson and Alex Rodriguez return.
"Holy crap. This could be awesome," said one baseball fan. "Can you imagine if the Yankees go, like, 72-90? I mean, I really think it's possible this year. They could really blow. Is 100 losses too crazy? Would that be the greatest thing ever? I think it might be the greatest thing ever."
Even with three high-priced position players missing significant time this season, the Yankees will still field a team with many big-name players. But most, if not all of those players, are well past their prime and the American League East will be competitive from top to bottom.
"I hate the Yankees so much and am so sick of hearing about them," said an American. "They're on TV constantly. But if they totally suck, I will probably watch all of their games and enjoy every second of them getting drubbed night after night."
The Yankees will open the season with a slightly above-average pitching staff relying on offense to come from Robinson Cano with support from 38 year-old Derek Jeter, 33 year-old Kevin Youkilis, 39 year-old Ichiro and 35 year-old Travis Hafner.
"Ohmigod ohmigod ohmigod! Travis Hafner! Ha!" said a citizen of the world. "Travis Hafner! Just … my god! I've never been so excited for a baseball season in my whole life. I wish Opening Day was today! I can't wait."