10 Reasons the Chicago Blackhawks SUCK

10 Reasons the Chicago Blackhawks SUCK – Image 1

10. The Blackhawks barely beat anyone

Chicago's 21-0-3 record is all smoke and mirrors. They only have a plus-32 goal differential on the season. Their last 10 wins have come by just an average of 1.3 goals per game. Compare that to a quality team like the Boston Bruins. Boston's last six wins have been by an average of 2.0 goals per game. That's beating a team. The Blackhawks are just barely slipping by.

9. The Blackhawks benefit by getting all the calls

Chicago has spent 153 minutes and 9 seconds on the power play so far this season. That's more than 2.5 hours. You could watch all of "Lincoln" and three-plus minutes of previews in the amount of time Chicago has had a man-advantage this season. It's pretty easy to win when the refs are in your pocket.

8. The Blackhawks don't even have a No. 1 goalie

Ray Emery? Corey Crawford? Good luck with that. Not long ago, Emery couldn't even keep an NHL roster spot. The duo might appear to be doing okay for now, but a corpse can prevent a goal, too, if the shooter shoots it right into the body.

7. The Blackhawks don't have a single player in the Top 10 in the NHL in scoring

Oh, lookie there.

10 Reasons the Chicago Blackhawks SUCK – Image 2

So, to recap: Garbage goalies and no skaters who can put the puck in the net with any regularity. Yeah, this team is great.

6. The Blackhawks play crap teams

The Columbus Blue Jackets are in Chicago's division. So we're celebrating a team who gets to feast on that crap? We're promoting bullying now? Despicable.

5. The Blackhawks play crap teams, Part 2

Look at the Top 11 records in the NHL. Seven of those teams play in the Eastern Conference. Must be nice to avoid ever playing anyone good, Chicago.

4. The Blackhawks got set up with a cake schedule

Chicago was given a seven-game homestand right smack dab in the middle of February. Seven games! It's pretty easy to get on a good run when you never have to leave your home arena.

3. The Blackhawks blow in the shootout

You think a .500 team is great? That's what the Blackhawks are in shootouts this season: 3-3. A .500 team. When it comes down to nothing but scoring the puck or stopping the puck, the Blackhawks are nothing but average. But then we learned that already in No. 8 and No. 7. Crap team.

2. The Blackhawks are lucky

Watch a few of their games and you'll see this is true. You'll see pucks getting tipped to get by the opposing goalie. You'll see pucks taking weird bounces. You'll see opponents falling down. You'll see goalies letting in soft goals. Meanwhile, Chicago's opponents have hit the post or crossbar with shots in almost every game, if not all of them. This is the luckiest team ever.

1. The Blackhawks haven't won a Stanley Cup

Don't tell me how awesome and unbeatable the 2013 Chicago Blackhawks are unless you can show me their name on the Stanley Cup. Can you? Can you show me the 2013 Chicago Blackhawks on the Stanley Cup? Answer me. No. You can't. You have no argument here. You lose. The Blackhawks SUCK.

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