Paralympic track legend Oscar Pistorius stands accused of murdering his girlfriend in cold blood, an act he reportedly has admitted to South African police in an inspirational confession.
"My whole life I have been told what I can't do because of my legs," said Pistorius. "They said I could never be a world class sprinter. They said I could never compete in the Olympics. They said I could never murder someone."
"Did someone really say that?" interjected a detective.
"Oh, it was said," continued Pistorius. "I was always taunted in school with: 'Ha-ha! You'll never murder anyone because you have no legs! Look, everyone! No legs over here can't kill people, what with his no legs!' It stung. But I vowed to prove them wrong. And today I have. I hope I can be an inspiration to everyone throughout the world who has been told their handicap prevents them from doing horrible and unspeakable things."
South African police officials said the confession was by far the most inspirational they have ever received.
"This guy has overcome so much to shoot his girlfriend four times," said Detective Robert Price. "Is this someone we can really lock up? It's delicate when it comes to issues like these. I'm not disabled so I can't speak to what is or is not inspirational to the disabled community."
A spokesman for the Paralympics said Pistorius does not murder on behalf of all disabled athletes, but other Paralympians said Pistorius' act inspired them — but they also admitted they have some people they'd like to murder.
For his next inspirational act, Pistorius says he wants to prove that a disabled person can break out of a maximum security prison.