#10 – Rice Krispies
Hearing Rice Kripsies snap, crackle and pop in a bowl of milk is nice. But you haven't really heard them snap, crackle and pop until you've heard them do it in the juices of lovemaking.
#9 – Kashi
Ever eat Kashi? That shit's nasty. Yeah, nasty. I like it nasty.
#8 – Puffed Rice
It doesn't matter how much Puffed Rice you have, it's not enough. It doesn't satiate your hunger. You just want more. Puffed Rice is doin' it. Get it? Yeah. Sex and Puffed Rice are two things I always want more of.
#7 – Trix
Trix are for kids? Hell, no. Not the way I use them. Trix are very adult.
#6 – Franken Berry
You want a night of romance? Dump a box of Franken Berry all over your bed. It will look like it's covered in miniature rose petals. Then grind them to cereal dust all night long while you both make the Franken Berry O-face.
#5 – Life
I wouldn't necessarily say Life is sexy, it just reminds me that I better strap up or I might create a life. Sometimes a sex cereal can be great simply for practical reasons.
#4 – Lucky Charms
Lucky Charms are ideal for a night of role-playing. She says "You'll never get me Lucky Charms!" and places them in various locations on her body. Then you get her Lucky Charms.
#3 – Banana Nut Crunch
Don't you judge me. I like a little pain sometimes.
#2 – Honey Nut Cheerios
True story: For most of my life, I thought the reason I woke up with an erection in the morning was because I was excited to eat Honey Nut Cheerios for breakfast. That might have messed me up psychologically a little bit. I don't know. Either way, sex and breakfast cereals have always been linked together for me, and I like nothing more than the taste of Honey Nut Cheerios in my mouth when I'm with a lady.
#1 – generic Honey Nut Cheerios
Honey Nut Scooters. Honey Rings. Honey Nut Spins. There are a lot of different names, but they've all got the same sexy-ass taste. And why pay full-price for Honey Nut Cheerios when you can get the same thing for half the price? I mean, if a girl will put out after you take her to Burger King, there's no need to take her to dinner at Ruth's Chris. That's basic cereal/sex logic.