The 7 Best Sports Christmas Carols

The X Best Sports Christmas Carols – Image 1

O Little Town of Buffalo

Oh, little town of Buffalo
how still we see thee lose.
Why do you go to all these games?
The only reason's booze.

Do They Know It's Christmas? (SEC Edition)

There's a world outside your conference
And it's a world of misery
Where the only bowls they're winning
Are the Belk and Liberty

And the athletes that play there
Are so slow and full of doom
We'll, tonight, thank God, it's them
Instead of you

The X Best Sports Christmas Carols – Image 1

The First Nerlens Noel

Of the first Noel named Nerlens they'd say
He was certain to play in the N-B-A.
On courts he would play on a team quite deep
Calipari didst know only one year he'd keep

Noel Noel Nerlens Noel
Kentucky's not ranked. Oh, what the hell?

Coughlin, the Red-Nosed Head Coach

Coughlin the red-nosed head coach
had a shiny frozen nose.
And if you ever saw it,
you would even say it glows.

All of the radio callers
used to laugh and call him names;
But then they let poor Coughlin
win all of their Super Bowl games.

Bettman Got Run Over by a Reindeer

Bettman got run over by a reindeer
coming home from a meeting Christmas Eve.
You can say there's no such thing as karma,
but as for me and Canada, we believe.

The X Best Sports Christmas Carols – Image 3

Little Dumber Boy

Come, said Archie
Eli, li, li, li
He's a mouth-breather, see?
Eli, li, li, li

Somehow he's got two rings
Eli, li, li, li
Yet to his mom he clings
Eli, li, li, li
Elite, lite, lite, lite, lite, lite, lite, lite.

You're a Mean One, Mr. Stern

You're a mean one, Mr. Stern.
You really are a heel.
You're as cuddly as a cactus,
You're as charming as an eel,
Mr. Stern.
You're a bad banana with a greasy black peel.

You're a monster, Mr. Stern.
Your heart's an empty hole.
Your brain is full of spiders.
You've got garlic in your soul, Mr. Stern.
I wouldn't touch you with a
Thirty-nine and a half foot pole.

And so on, with the exact same lyrics as the original, just with "Stern" replacing "Grinch."