Arizona Cardinals wide receiver Larry Fitzgerald snagged a pass on a slant pattern in practice today, avoided a defensive back and turned into open field towards the end zone. He then picked up speed at about the 20 yard-line and sprinted right through the end zone and out of the team's practice facility and off down the road.
He was last spotted on I-10 heading west, still carrying the football and running full speed, a few miles from the California border.
"I wish he hadn't decided to run away forever, but I actually expected it to happen a long time ago," said head coach Ken Whisenhunt. "The fact he stayed here this long shows what a great guy he is. I wish him nothing but the best. And it can really only get better for him away from here."
Whisenhunt briefly, and weakly, called after Fitzgerald after he ran off the field.
"Wait. Wait, Larry. Don't go," said the head coach in a barely audible monotone. "You can still accomplish a lot here. Ah, hell. Nevermind. Go. Go and be free. You deserve so much more."
Several of Fitzgerald's teammates decided to flee the Cardinals with him, but most tired before they even reached the parking lot and had to defeatedly wander back to the field to continue practicing with their fellow terrible teammates. Quarterbacks John Skelton and Ryan Lindley never made it out of the stadium because they couldn't figure out how to work the door.
Drivers who have spotted Fitzgerald on his escape run say he has a huge smile on his face.
"He was running faster than I've ever seen a human run and yelling 'I'm free! I'M FREE! I'M FINALLY FREE!' the whole time," said one witness. "I wanted to offer him some water but I was going about 68 mph and he sped by me at at least 85 mph or so."