The Presidential Box-Off: Determining Which American President Would Win in a Fight

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10. William Howard Taft

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Height: 5’11”

Age in Office: 51

Party: Republican

State: Ohio

Scouting Report: He broke 300 pounds and would easily outweigh any other challenger.

9. Ronald Reagan

Height: 6’1”

Age in Office: 69

Party: Republican

State: California

Scouting Report: He stared down the Soviet Union, meaning he essentially beat Ivan Drago.

8. Lyndon B. Johnson

Height: 6’4”

Age in Office: 54

Party: Democrat

State: Texas

Scouting Report: He was 6-foot-4 and from Texas. So he was big and probably armed.

7. Gerald Ford

Height: 6’0”

Age in Office: 60

Party: Republican

State: Nebraska

Scouting Report: He was a lineman at Michigan. Back when the Big Ten was good, too.

6. Dwight Eisenhower

Height: 5’10”

Age in Office: 62

Party: Republican

State: Texas

Scouting Report: Football star. War hero. Ass kicker.

5. Ulysses S. Grant

Height: 5’8”

Age in Office: 46

Party: Republican

State: Ohio

Scouting Report: Kicked secesh ass in the Civil War. Would have any problem putting down an uprising of one.

4. George Washington

Height: 6’2”

Age in Office: 57

Party: Independent

State: Virginia

Scouting Report: A 6-foot-2 former army general who beat the world’s leading power.

3. Abraham Lincoln

Height: 6’4”

Age in Office: 52

Party: Republican

State: Illinois

Scouting Report: Tall (6’4″) with a long reach, Lincoln also had strength and was nicknamed “The Rail Splitter.”

2. Andrew Jackson

Height: 6’1”

Age in Office: 61

Party: Democrat

State: Tennessee

Scouting Report: His nicknames included Old Hickory and King Mob. Those are badass names. He also once killed a man in a duel.

1. Theodore Roosevelt

Height: 5’10”

Age in Office: 42

Party: Republican

State: New York

Scouting Report: Hunter, adventurer. All-around ass-kicker. President you don’t want to mess with.

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