1. Strap sponges to the bottom of the runners' shoes.
2. Force the runners to carry at least two other competitors so as to not clog traffic.
3. Divert more of the course through Staten Island so maybe some city officials remember that is a place that exists.
4. Attach some sort of improvised electrical generators to the legs of all Kenyans.
5. Introduce an added element of difficulty by making 13.1 miles of the course a swim through the subway system.
6. No super-short running shorts. This has nothing to do with the hurricane, they are just disgusting.
7. Let residents without food get in on some pre-race carb loading.
8. Don't let anyone named Sandy participate.
9. Instead of pulling large numbers of police away from recovery efforts to provide race security, realize most marathoners can easily run away from anyone trying to attack them.
10. Winner gets one night at a hotel that has electricity and running water.
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