The Chicago Bears held a team walkthrough today in preparation for their game Sunday against the Rams, but quarterback Jay Cutler sabotaged the practice by repeatedly laying on his back after snapping the ball.
"Oh, look at this! Chris Long is on top of me, like, one second after I snapped the ball!" said Cutler in a sarcastic while rolling around on the ground. "This is so realistic as to what is going to happen on Sunday! What a great practice!"
Cutler did this 10 more times, calling out the name of another St. Louis starter each time.
"Whaddaya know. Now I've been sacked by Rams safety Quintin Mikell!" the quarterback said, on his back again with the ball. "How am I getting sacked by a safety? I guess someone or several people on the line really blew it again, but heaven forbid I say anything about it or I'm a bad guy. Can one of you great teammates help me up?"
Cutler then went to the line again intent on practicing getting sacked a twelfth time, but head coach Lovie Smith had seen enough.
"Okay, Jay. We get it. Good one," said Smith. "No need to do it again. Everyone got the message loud and clear."
"Lovie and nice name by the way," said Cutler, smirking, "but if it's okay with you, I'm going to practice for the game on Sunday by not giving a shit about what you say."
Cutler then took another snap and fell backwards while throwing the ball straight up into the air.
"Uh-oh," he said, on his back yet again. "That could be an interception. But it's totally my fault that I tried to get rid of the ball before five giant men hit me at once. That's on me, fellas."
Despite Cutler's condescending tone, most of his teammates say it was one of their most productive walkthroughs ever.
"I thought it was very productive," said tackle J'Marcus Webb. "Now what's going to happen Sunday won't seem like such a surprise. Jay's a good leader. I hope he doesn't get killed during a game."