Tie on Olympic Village’s Outside Gate Signals That All The Athletes Are Having Sex Again

Tie on Olympic Villages Outside Gate Signals That All The Athletes Are Having Sex Again – Image 1
A tie knotted around the outside gate of the London 2012 Athletes Village kept visitors and workers away last night, allowing all 10,000 athletes inside to engage in another huge orgy.

"They've been doing that a lot lately," said a janitor who had arrived to mop floors in the Village last night. "They're having sex all the time in there. It's getting pretty annoying."

London 2012 organizers provided the Athletes Village with 150,000 free condoms and the villagers have been making quick use of them.

"They can't give them to us and then complain we're using them," said a Dutch hurdler, speaking while inside of a Venezuelan swimmer. "We don't have to put a tie on the front gate either. We're just doing it to be polite. We're not going to be made to feel guilty about getting laid constantly. We've been training our whole lives for this opportunity."

But London 2012 officials say they're going to have to get into the Village soon.

"We have stuff to do," said London 2012 chairman Sebastian Coe. "We didn't know they were going to be in there hooking up all the time. I mean, give it a rest for a few minutes. There's probably semen all over our stuff. We have to use this village after they're gone. It's rude."