Desperate NBC Announces 2012 Fall Olympics in Dayton, Ohio

Desperate NBC Announces 2012 Fall Olympics – Image 1
NBC announced at a hastily arranged press conference this morning that it will broadcast the new 2012 Fall Olympics this October from Dayton, Ohio.

"People really love the Olympics and we decided after seeing the pilot episodes of 'Go On' and 'Animal Hospital' that there was no reason to wait until Sochy 2014 to give the public what it wants," said NBC Sports chairman Mark Lazarus. "So Dayton 2012 it is."

NBC is still finalizing the final list of sports for the Dayton 2012 — and inventing many of them — but so far the sports include: college football, leaf raking, jumping into leaf piles, punkin chunkin, synchronized trick or treating and synchronized punkin chunkin.

Yet despite NBC's plans, the IOC has not given the network the approval to use the Olympics name and says it will not do so.

"I understand they're in a bind because no one will watch their non-Olympics programming, but NBC's inability to develop entertaining programming is not the IOC's fault," said IOC president Jacques Rogge. "You can't just invent and run an Olympics in seven weeks. That's not near enough time to do the bribes right."

Dayton mayor Gary Leitzell said he agreed to be the host of the 2012 Fall Olympics when Bob Costas called him this morning to ask.

"I said it was okay as long as they got a permit through the city and cleaned up after themselves when it's over," said Leitzell. "I'm happy to do it. I got into public service to help the less fortunate like NBC."