United States Wins World Eating Championship Again

United States Wins World Eating Championship Again – Image 1
The United States has defended its World Eating Championship, besting all other countries in most calories consumed per capita and fattest people. The title has gone to the United States every year since the competition began.

"During a time when many people try to claim that America is no longer No. 1, that America is not exceptional, this proves that theory wrong," said President Obama. "The American waistline is as great, no — greater, than it ever has been."

Data shows that 35.7% of the American population is obese.

"America is an eating dynasty," said Chinese premier Wen Jiabao. "As dominant as their Dream Team Olympic basketball team was, the USA is even better at eating. And they are only going to get better."

Jiabao pointed to the USA's remarkable youth eating program which has produced an obesity rate in American children of 17%.

"Most American kids can eat more while sitting on the couch watching a 30-minute TV show than our strongest and most active adults can eat in a single day," said Jiabao. "I can't even imagine the state of American plumbing."

Many World Eating Championship experts predicted that U.S. consumption would drop due to the struggling American economy. Instead, cash-strapped citizens bought cheaper foods laced with even more fat and calories.

"Lack of money and food options cannot sway the American determination to put foodstuffs in their mouth," said British Prime Minister David Cameron. "They won't even let diabetes and not being able to stand up without wheezing get in their way. You could say that it's remarkable."

The United States will not rest on its laurels, however. Despite the latest championship, $1 menus as fast food drive-through restaurants are being expanded and one chain has released a bacon sundae.