After yet another twist in his ongoing free agency saga, Dwight Howard is starting to suspect that his top adviser — Miami Heat forward LeBron James — is intentionally feeding him bad advice.
This past week Howard, who has one year remaining on his contract with the Orlando Magic, reportedly claimed the Magic "blackmailed" him into opting into that final year, then publicly denied that report, but reaffirmed his desire to be traded by the Magic, all of which was orchestrated by James.
"I thought given what he went through in 2010, LeBron would be able to give me good advice and help me avoid the same mistakes he made," Howard said. "But it seems like he's just making things worse."
James's other suggestions to Howard have included demanding a trade prior to last season, then publicly maintaining he was loyal to Orlando, then re-demanding a trade only to the Nets, then waiving his opt out clause at the trade deadline.
James also personally designed a "Dwight Howard Magic Loyalty" T-Shirt, which has become incredibly popular among Brooklyn hipsters.
"At first, it was kind of a joke, just to see what he'd do," James said. "But then I realized that if he got his coach fired, feuded with his front office and basically alienated his whole fan base, 'The Decision' would look pretty tame by comparison."
Next up on James's suggestion list is a 12-part web series in which Howard visits multiple cities in an attempt to find his next NBA home, followed by possible changing his name to "Metta Brooklyn Superman".
"I'm not sure I'm gonna do that," Howard said. "But I do like LeBron's suggestion that I sign a veteran's minimum deal with the Heat. People love them, right?"