Reasons to Root For/Against All 16 Euro Cup Nations

Reasons to Root ForAgainst All 16 Euro Cup Nations – Image 17

Group C

Spain
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Reason to root against: Tapas

Thanks to tapas, now half the restaurants in America are charging 12 bucks for appetizers.

"Aren't these the mozzarella sticks that used to be $4.50?"

"No, sir. They are fried cheese wedges!"

"I hate you."

Reason to root for: Running of the Bulls

The annual Running of the Bulls is always a nice reminder that Americans aren't the world's dumbest people. Thanks for the self-esteem boost, Spanish!

Italy
Reasons to Root ForAgainst All 16 Euro Cup Teams – Image 10

Reason to root against: Obesity

You know the reason most everyone in the United States is a big fatass? Because food is delicious. The Italians get a lot of the blame for making it taste so good. If all we had to eat is the gruel that the English, Irish and Germans produce, everyone would be skinny.

Reason to root for: Diving

Watching the Italians dive and flop their way to a title will make you feel slightly better about the state of the NBA.

Croatia
Reasons to Root ForAgainst All 16 Euro Cup Teams – Image 10

Reason to root against: Kentucky

With a population of 4.2 millions, Croatia has almost the exact population of Kentucky. Croatia's coach probably cheats.

Reason to root for: Neckties

Croatia invented the necktie. It's not exactly up there with … you know, electricity or the automobile or planes or the computer. But it's better than Portugal's jelly fish.

Ireland
Reasons to Root ForAgainst All 16 Euro Cup Teams – Image 10

Reason to root against: Your one co-worker

You know, the guy who is 1/16th Irish and thinks that gives him the right to wear clover leaf t-shirts and drink Guinness 24 hours a day, when in reality he's just a drunk who comes from four generations of Kansans. Screw that guy.

Reason to root for: England

Them winning would really devastate everyone in England.

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