25 Signs That Your Fantasy Baseball Team Sucks

25 Signs That Your Fantasy Baseball Team Sucks – Image 1
*1*. Your first two picks were Albert Pujols and Alex Rodriguez.

2. You aren't the person in your league who drafted Adam Dunn in the last round as a joke.

3. You failed to stock your roster with Pirates pitchers.

4. You failed to stock your roster with Orioles hitters.

5. You drafted Roy Halladay and Cliff Lee like some dumbass.

6. You drafted under the impression that Intangibles was a stat category in your league.

7. You were happy to see that Juan Pierre was still available on the free agent wire.

8. Much of your original roster is now in Triple-A.

9. Much of your current roster is composed of players who were recently released by other teams in your league.

10. The only fat Tigers infielder you have is Jhonny Peralta.

11. You assumed Ryan Braun wouldn't risk using steroids again. (Allegedly!)

12. Same with David Ortiz. (Accidentally!)

13. You drafted under the impression it was an NL Central-only league.

14. All of your draft preparation was spent coming up with a clever team name and you forgot to even bring a list of players to the draft, forcing you to call out names of baseball players you could remember at random and making Rusty Kuntz your 3rd Round pick.

15. Unbeknownst to you, Ichiro has apparently stunk for a while now.

16. You dropped Josh Beckett back in April to pick up Jamie Moyer.

17. Your hunch that Jayson Werth would break out this season hasn't panned out.

18. You picked up Philip Humber minutes after his perfect game and have started him every outing since then.

19. Your Utility position player is a utility player.

20. You turned down an early season trade offer that would have sent you Mark Trumbo and Jason Kipnis on account of never having heard of Mark Trumbo or Jason Kipnis.

21. You are convinced you would be in first place if your league commissioner had set up the league with some new sabermetric stat categories that take into account the strength of your team: hitters who strike out deep into counts and pitchers who are pretty good at not hitting batters.

22. You felt really good about your team after your draft was over.

23. Your disabled list is the envy of the league.

24. Like everyone in 2nd through 10th place in your league, you got tired of updating your lineup everyday around April 13th.

25. You've already e-mailed everyone in your league to see if they're up for a fantasy football league again this year.