The 25 Funniest Athlete Names in Sports History

The 25 Funniest Athlete Names in Sports History – Image 1

From more than 220,000 reader votes on nearly 70 athlete names …

#25 – Dean Windass

Fun Fact: Windass, a striker for Scarborough Athletic, creates space on the pitch with his violently smelly farts.
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#24 – God Shammgod

Fun Fact: Shammgod only lasted 20 games in the NBA and is now a teammate of Stephon Marbury’s in China. God clearly curses those who are named in vain.
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#23 – Uranius Johnson

Fun Fact: Uranius Johnson majored in Sport Management at Marshall, not astronomy or taints.
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#22 – Jim Bob Cooter

Fun Fact: Jim Bob was born in Tennessee and raised by a raccoon and an empty bottle of moonshine.
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#21 – Misty Hyman

Fun Fact: 13.7% of American women suffer from misty hyman.
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#20 – Chubb Small

Fun Fact: Small was on the same Marshall roster with Uranius Johnson in 2005 when the Thundering Herd ran their patented LOLfense.
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#19 – Dick Butkus

Fun Fact: A Dick Butkus is still illegal in 17 states.
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#18 – Fair Hooker

Fun Fact: Fair Hooker’s prostitute mother was twice honored by the Better Business Bureau.
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#17 – Harry Colon

Fun Fact: Interestingly, Harry Colon’s asshole suffers from alopecia.
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#16 – Dick Felt

Fun Fact: Following his playing career, Dick Felt sold and marketed Dick Felt, a felt penis covering designed to prevent chafing. He quickly went bankrupt.
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#15 – Yoshie Takeshita

Fun Fact: In Japanese, “Yoshie Takeshita” actually means “Diarrhea Sandwich.”
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#14 – Steve Sharts

Fun Fact: In English, “Steve Sharts” actually means “Steve Has Liquidy Farts.”
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#13 – Kyle Sackrider

Fun Fact: First thing every morning, Kyle calls his parents to thank them for not naming him Dick.
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#12 – Dick Pole

Fun Fact: Dick Pole made it to the majors thanks to his fastball, curve and ability to make batters giggle to the point of being unable to swing.
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#11 – Destinee Hooker

Fun Fact: Destinee’s parents hope she will not only be a hooker, but a fair hooker.
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#10 – Dick Paradise

Fun Fact: Paradise’s eponymous autobiography, “Dick Paradise,” has poor reviews on Amazon due to readers who felt the title was misleading and did not expect a book about minor league hockey.
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#9 – Dick Shiner

Fun Fact: Believe it or not, Dick Shiner never missed an NFL game due to penile bruising.
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#8 – Jack Glasscock

Fun Fact: Glasscock’s turn-of-the-century dildo factory, Captain Jack’s Glasscocks, was shut down after too many customers were injured when the glass broke.
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#7 – DeWanna Bonner

Fun Fact: DeWanna Bonner has repeatedly turned down requests from the makers of “JuWanna Mann” to star in a sequel.
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#6 – Johnny Dickshot

Fun Fact: Dickshot left the majors to fight in World War II, and thankfully did not sustain a gunshot wound to the penis, because that would just be ridiculous.
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#5 – Chubby Cox

Fun Fact: Cox was born John Arthur Cox III, but if your last name is Cox, you may as well just go for full humiliation.
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#4 – Ivana Mandic

Fun Fact: Ivana’s twin brother is named Ihava.
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#3 – Dick Trickle

Fun Fact: If Dick Trickle is greenish or painful, he should see a doctor.
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#2 – Rusty Kuntz

Fun Fact: A remedy for Rusty Kuntz is a bit of Dick Trickle.
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#1 – Lucious Pusey

Fun Fact: Everyone agrees that Lucious Pusey is better than Rusty Kuntz.
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