The 17 Worst Games on the 2012 NFL Schedule

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*Week 1*

Jaguars at Vikings

Tune in to see which quarterback picked in the 1st Round of the 2011 NFL Draft sucks more: Christian Ponder or Blaine Gabbert! (It's Gabbert, but don't sleep on Ponder's awfulness.)

Week 2

Chiefs at Bills

For some reason this is being played in Buffalo. The NFL needs to schedule the worst Bills games for Toronto. We don't need this abomination on American soil.

Week 3

Bills at Browns

Yes, the Bills play the Chiefs and Browns back-to-back. If the NFL folds one day, it won't be due to brain injuries. It will be because the 2012 Bills turned too many fans off to the sport.

Week 4

Dolphins at Cardinals

Too bad. Just think how almost watchable this game would be if either team had been able to get Peyton Manning.

Week 5

Titans at Vikings

Chris Johnson vs. Adrian Peterson. Flip this game on and reminisce about 2010. I suggest watching with your Susan Boyle album playing in the background.

Week 6

Chiefs at Buccaneers

This is about as bad as a division rivalry game as you can get. What's that? They're not in the same division? Oh, well excuse me for not knowing random facts about awful NFL teams, jerk!

Week 7

Browns at Colts

With Andrew Luck already drafted, what are these teams sucking for now? Sorry, Cleveland, but when it comes to slogans, "Play flat for Matt [Barkley]" is almost as bad as you are at the football.

Week 8

Buccaneers at Vikings

The Metrodome needs to be replaced and the Buccaneers are completely ignored, even in their hometown. There's no better time than today to bring in the wrecking balls.

Week 9

Panthers at Redskins

Cam Newton! RG3! Absolutely no one else!

Week 10

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*Colts at Jaguars*

The fairly dim lights of Thursday Night Football will be shining on Jacksonville. You know, sometimes you're actually quite lucky if you're one of the people who don't get NFL Network.

Week 11

Browns at Cowboys

"Whaddaya mean?! The Cowboys are a brand name team full of big-name players!" Fine. But explain how their seasons really differ much from what the Browns do every year.

Week 12

Seahawks at Dolphins

From Seattle all the way to Miami. You literally couldn't travel farther in the mainland United States to do something people care about less.

Week 13

Cleveland at Oakland

Oooh. I love watching the Blight Bowl. The mayors should bet each other food items known to their respective city, such as Hobo's Own Leather Boot Soup or Rat Meat Stew.

Week 14

Chiefs at Browns

Wow. This is the fifth Browns game on this list. Just imagine if the Bengals were still terrible, giving Cleveland two more unwatchable game. I could have saved a lot of time and just reprinted the 2012 Cleveland Browns schedule for this piece instead of writing up a whole article. Damn Bengals.

Week 15

Seahawks at Bills

There we go. This game was shipped off to Toronto. Suck it, Canada. You will be our landfill of NFL trash and like it.

Week 16

Rams at Buccaneers

Every year there are games that initially look bad when the schedule is released, but turn out to be important and exciting because both teams have surprisingly good seasons. This is not one of those games.

Week 17

Cowboys at Redskins

It's the Cowboys' last game of December. Unless you see this more as a "so bad it's good" kind of game. I know I do. December Cowboys is the most entertaining show there is.