Sampling Notes from Official MLB Team Scents

The New York Yankees now have an official cologne and perfume. Really. Alex Watt reviewed the scents of other MLB teams.

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*Boston Red Sox*

Although it contains some of the finest ingredients money can buy, the smell of Budweiser foam and chicken grease is too unpleasant to tolerate.

Pittsburgh Pirates

Smells like it has been rotting inside the bottle for 20 years.

Detroit Tigers

A fresh and appealing scent that could ultimately benefit from removing the notes of "sweat from walking to a corner infield position."

Milwaukee Brewers

The sample bottle wasn't delivered properly, so I'll just have to assume it smelled fine.

Texas Rangers

The perfect scent for high-end bolo tie shopping, sitting in the bed of a pickup truck, or talking to a Japanese translator.

San Diego Padres

Very few recognizable ingredients and even those were putrid.

New York Mets

Relatively inexpensive, but obviously just a Gatorade bottle that a dehydrated person urinated into.

Philadelphia Phillies

Tough to review, seeing as the bottle shattered upon contact with the back of my head.

New York Yankees

Like Derek Jeter cologne, but somehow with even more faux classiness.

Kansas City Royals

HOLY SHIT IT GOT IN MY EYES NOOOOOOOO WHY DO THEY STILL MAKE THIS!?!?!?!?

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