Overheard from a Coach: Issue #19

Ever hear a coach say something horrible and/or hilarious? Send your submissions to OverheardSP at gmail. Or submit for future editions about things overheard at a game, at the gym or terrible sports gifts you've received.

One day during junior high football practice, our team was going through positional drills. In our defensive line drills, two defensive lineman lined up against five offensive linemen. Our coach stood behind the defensive linemen and signaled to the offensive players to direct them where to block. The defensive players then had to read the blocks and fight through them.

After going through the drill for a while, our coach asked if all the defensive tackles had gone. No one spoke up, so he proceeded to have the defensive ends go through the drill. Once he thought we were done, he asked if anyone had not gone. A defensive tackle raised his hand, and our coach said, "Kramer? Aren't you a defensive tackle?" Kramer nodded yes, and coach had him take his place at defensive tackle. Coach proceeded to direct all five offensive linemen directly at Kramer, and they leveled him. With him flat on his back, coach walked over and said, "Welcome to the real world, Kramer."

- Kyle

I have multiple stories about this coach because I quite simply could not pick my favorite.

For the first three years of my high school years my baseball team was not very good. We went through a complete change of coaching my senior year, leaving zero of our old coaches. Our new catchers coach, Coach Nolan, was possibly the most badass man in the world. Standing in at around 5'5" and rather chubby, Nolan didn't strike you as intimidating. Coach Nolan had coached at a different school prior to mine for almost 40 years and knows a lot about the game. Before ever greeting us with even a hello, Coach Nolan gave us some words that I will never forget. The very first thing I ever heard him say was: "I know talent when I see it. I also know that you don't have to have talent to hustle. I also know that you mother f—-ers have zero talent so you sure as hell better hustle."

- Danny

After playing four years of baseball at my high school, I was invited back to coach the year after I graduated. I was thrilled when I thought of working with my former catching coach, Coach Nolan. After hearing him say many ridiculous things as a player, I could not wait to hear what he would say now that I am a coach with him. When we were going over cuts there was one kid that we are all 50-50 on. Coach Nolan was pleading his case for why we should cut the kid by stating, "I wanted to cut him last year because I thought he was gay. I want to cut him this year because I know he's gay."

- Danny

At our first team meeting of the year this spring, all of us coaches were to say something to the players. Some chose to talk about the correct way to play others chose to talk about really enjoying the time you have of playing high school baseball. Coach Nolan was not one to be all mushy and talk about how you will miss playing when your career is over. When it was his turn to speak, Coach Nolan walked in front of the team and said, "Kid spelled backwards is dik." That was all he said. The whole team started to clap which pissed coach off. Nolan turned around and said, "Would you shut the f—k up?" Coach was so outraged by the applause that he actually went home.

- Danny

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Send your "Overheard From A Coach", "Overheard At The Game" or "Overheard At The Gym" or embarrassing sports apparel and memorabilia you have owned stories to OverheardSP at gmail.

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