Brett Favre has joined Twitter. Here are some ways our sporting hero can better utilize the service.
#1 Be Informative, Interesting or Funny
Twitter's Compose Tweet box asks the question "What's happening?" But no one actually cares what's happening. You will be a success and build up a following if you tweet out interesting or amusing or both information and links. No one cares about the inane, everyday thoughts that might go through your head, such as:
"Mowing this lawn."
"Playing touch-football in my jeans with my friends and our dogs in a field."
"Desperately needing attention and am considering another comeback."
#2 Interact with Your Followers
Of the tens of thousands or hundreds of thousands or even millions of followers you accrue, as many as 14-percent of those people will be actual fans, not people following you simply for the joy of hating you and ripping your every word. Nurture your relationship with the 14-percent.
#3 Keep an Eye on Trending Topics
Twitter's Trending Topics are the 10 buzzwords or phrases most popular on the site at any given moment. Keeping an eye on them gives you a snapshot of what is currently going on in the world, albeit what's going on in the world in several specific categories: Justin Bieber, really racist jokes, dead or fake dead celebrities, and which athlete currently sucks the most. You know: the important stuff.
For example, two years ago before you were on Twitter you showed up a lot in Trending Topics as the athlete who sucked. Congratulations!
#4 Keep Personal Correspondence Off of Twitter
Only tweet something that you are okay with the whole world seeing even if you address it with an "@" to a specific person. Anyone can see what you have typed if they go to your specific page. Even be careful of DMing or Directing Messaging someone, in case you press the wrong button and the whole world sees it. So personal correspondence, intimate message, feuds they all should stay off Twitter. Unless you want to start up a feud with @AaronRodgers12. That would be kind of awesome. You could make fun of his commercials, or his stupid haircut or his championship belt celebration routine. That's up to you. You are an accomplished improvisor.
There are several good photo-sharing services that work with Twitter: TwitPic, Lockerz and yfrog among many others. However, if you have photos that need to be enhanced in any way such as for size you may want to look into signing up for Instagram.
#6 Don't Do Anything that @KingJames Does
Follow Lebron James on Twitter just to see what it looks like for a famous athlete to come across as annoying and arrogant. Then be sure not to do that.
#7 Be Careful What You ReTweet
When you ReTweet something, you are essentially giving your implicit approval. So be careful what and who you ReTweet. For example, you wouldn't want to ReTweet something said by the Jets or Vikings. Those are historically awful organizations that someone of your stature would only associate himself with in complete desperation.
#8 If Something Goes Wrong, Claim Your Account Was Hacked
Whenever an athlete tweets something stupid or racist or sexist or drunk, they later claim their account was hacked. That excuse is available for you, too. Getting your Twitter account hacked is basically like getting your Twitter account intercepted. It happens all the time.