From a Coach: Issue #17

Ever hear a coach say something horrible and/or hilarious? Send your submissions to OverheardSP at gmail. Or submit for future editions about things overheard at a game, at the gym or terrible sports gifts you've received.

My high school baseball coach was known for winning seasons, not his intelligence. He famously told the players that school doesn't matter, and constantly bragged that he scored a 12 on his ACT. One year, he was asked to give a clinic for Little League coaches in the area. When he opened up the floor for questions, one Little League coach asked if he could demonstrate a left-handed pick off move to teach one of his kids. With complete seriousness, he replied "No, I'm right-handed." Everyone in the room was dumbfounded.

As the "clinic" ended, he left the coaches with one last piece of advice. He said "I don't want to ever hear one of you yell 'rock and fire.' I don't even know what that means."

– D

My high school basketball coach was overly intense. We were down at the half one game by double digits and he was questioning our intensity and toughness in the locker room. He went up to the wipeboard and drew up a play they were running over and over with success. The other team was Xs and for us he drew these sort of ()s marks instead of Os.

"Do you see what these are?!" he yelled. "They're vaginas! You're a bunch of vaginas!"

Before he became the boys basketball head coach, he had coached our school's girls team. I doubt he ever used that speech with them.

– Frank

So, the way our locker room was laid out was such that there was a main room for the varsity/JV players and the back room was pretty much just freshmen. So all of us are back there joking around and cursing when our coach bursts in and yells "WHAT THE F**K IS WITH ALL THIS CURSING?" It was at least a week until we realized he was joking with us.

– James

My coach wasn't overheard saying this, he screamed it in front of the entire team. My high school soccer team sucked, plain and simple. In a sport where movement is key, most of our guys lolled around on the field like drunk walruses while the two or three of us who were any good actually tried to play. Now that I think of it, the coach sucked too.

But there came one moment, in the entire season, when the team apparently moved like our crappy coach wanted us to. He made us all stand in a line (ironically not moving) and proceeded to tell us how good of a job we did. As his excitement rose, apparently something else did too because he ended his "motivational" speech with: "YOU GUYS MADE ME CREAM MY SHORTS!"

– Carter

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Send your "Overheard From A Coach", "Overheard At The Game" or "Overheard At The Gym" or embarrassing sports apparel and memorabilia you have owned stories to OverheardSP at gmail.