Updated John Wall Dance to Include Silent Weeping

Washington Wizards hold a workout for University of Kentucky G John Wall
Washington Wizards point guard John Wall announced today that his eponymous dance will now conclude with silent weeping and a holding of the head.

"You always have to keep it fresh. I don't want the kids to see the John Wall Dance as dated," said the 2010 No. 1 overall point. "At the same time, I want it to be real and to reflect who I am right now. And that's sad a depressed."

The Wizards have the worst record in the NBA at 1-8 and Wall's numbers are well below his rookie year performance.

"With the old John Wall Dance, it started with the flexing," said Wall. "It still does. But sometimes now, you can skip right through the early part and just do the silent weeping. I do that now after most of my shots."

With an abysmal field goal percentage of 34-percent so far this season, Wall is getting plenty of opportunities to do his trademark moves. However, most days he struggles to get out of bed, let alone perform a dance.

"Not even 18 months and this organization has completely destroyed me," said Wall. "I didn't expect it until at least my third year. But the atmosphere of failure here is pretty strong."

Wall hopes his updated John Wall Dance can be popular with a whole new market of young people.

"Most dances — from my original dance to the Dougie — are to be performed in an upbeat, positive way," said Wall. "But there are millions of kids who are sad and depressed and feel like they can't do anything right. That's who the new John Wall Dance will appeal to," he added, silently weeping.