7 Extreme Winter Sports That Should be Added to the Winter X Games

Extreme Ice Fishing undefined – Image 1

Description: Each contestant is assigned to a frozen pond and given 100 pounds of C-4. The X-fisher who kills the most fish wins.

Style points: Given for the X-fishers whose fish catch the most air when blasted out of the water.

Lingoing

Description: X-Gamers compete to come up with the douchiest lingo for common things people do during the winter. Everyone on the judging panel is over the age of 40 and the Lingoing winner is determined when a new word causes everyone on the panel to roll their eyes.

Style points: Given to the Lingoing contestants who come up with a new term for Lingoing during the Lingoing competition.

Snowboard Fullpipe

Description: The same as snowboard halfpipe, but with double the pipe. TO THE EXTREME!

Style points: None. Judges are unable to see any of the action due to the fullpipe being completely closed.

Ludicrous Speed Skating

Description: Competitors strap on a pair of ice skates and head down an Olympic luge track. Victory is secured by not dying.

Style points: Given to any competitors who don't stain the pristine, white ice with brain matter.

Mountain Dew Ice Skating

Description: Like regular figure skating, only the ice is made out of frozen Mountain Dew.

Style points: Given to the figure skaters who incorporate into their routines other mass-marketed food products known to be totally extreme, such as the Tony Hawk-endorsed Hot Bites from Heinz Frozen Food Corporation.

Extreme Climate Change Denying

Description: Contestants vie to be the fastest to denounce the 98-percent of scientists who say man-made factors contribute to climate change.

Style points: Given to the contestant who most creatively incorporates the carcass of a dead polar bear into his or her presentation.

Bro Icing

Description: X-Gamers compete to Ice the most Bros over the course of the X-Games.

Style points: Given to X-Gamer who can find a person at the X-Games who can't be considered a Bro/Brah.

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