From a Coach: Issue #12

Ever hear a coach say something horrible and/or hilarious? Send your submissions to OverheardSP at gmail. Or submit for future editions about things overheard at a game, at the gym or terrible sports gifts you've received.

When I was in my 8th grade year of basketball we were playing our first game of the season. We weren't expected to be good (we ended the season in 2nd place however). We were getting killed and as we enter the locker room at halftime our assistant coach is yelling and screaming. He then goes on to shout that we have nine good players on this team and we should not be losing. (I guess he forgot about the tenth kid who was by far the worst player on our team.)

He then went on to call his own son a "pussy" and, as soon as the assistant coach stormed out, our head coach couldn't do anything but laugh. Best halftime speech of my life.

– Joe

My senior year of football my team was expected to be really good. For whatever reason, we got off to a bad start and entered our fifth game 2-2 and were losing at halftime by 10 points. During the halftime speech, our head coach told everyone to get quiet "because it's time for some soul searching". About 10 seconds into it, someone audibly farted. Without breaking stride, my coach said: "Well, at least someone on this team is busting their ass." Everyone broke up laughing, we won the game and ended up winning districts.

– Kyle

Our high school football coach has been around for 26 years and has said some pretty outrageous things. Stuff like: "Boys, bring your jackets, it's gonna get dark out." But the most unbelievable was last year when we were preparing for a game against our biggest rival. As he was standing up at the board in the film room, he let us know some facts about the game.

"Boys, we have won 6 league championships, they have won 6 league championships, together our two teams have won 13 league championships!" Our entire team, along with the coaching staff, was in stitches but our head coach never realized his mistake and just continued right through the meeting.

– Steve

My high school football team had a coach who had coached both my uncles and myself. He had been an area Hall of Fame baseball coach but his intelligence didn't seem to translate over to football. He had odd cross-overs such as telling us to get into the "Placido Polanco" stance when getting read for an onside kick but that didn't compare to his motivational speeches that made as much sense for my uncles as they did to me.

Homecoming week he gathered my uncle's team around before spotting a crow on a tree near the field. He went on a fifteen minute rant on how everyone including the "Homecoming Crow" was rooting for them proceeding to attempt to get a reaction out of the crow by cawing at it for another 15 minutes. My uncle and his teammates were speechless.

Fast forward to my time and two similar events unfolded. We were having a disappointing season and were playing sloppily. A little poodle had found its way onto our practice field and was crawling across the grass. The coach decided that the dog was attempting to show us how to stay low while blocking and states that it could block better then we could. A few minutes later the homeless man the dog belonged to walked by the field, grabs his dog, and walks back to the woods behind our field puzzled by our coach. The following week our coach was at it again. A bird flew over our field and chirped. This coach begins telling us how the bird is mocking us, laughing at our poor play and … begins cawing at it until it flies away. I think the homeless guy has it together more than this coach.

– Patrick

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Send your "Overheard From A Coach", "Overheard At The Game" or "Overheard At The Gym" or embarrassing sports apparel and memorabilia you have owned stories to OverheardSP at gmail.