From a Coach: Issue #11

Ever hear a coach say something horrible and/or hilarious? Send your submissions to OverheardSP at gmail. Or submit for future editions about things overheard at a game, at the gym or terrible sports gifts you've received.

During my junior year of high school I decided to play ultimate Frisbee. At an all guys school we had a female coach, and me being the team smartass, I had fun with this. We had a defense called the "cup defense" and whenever we would run the defense I would scream "two girls one cup". After messing up said defense she screamed at me "SIT ON THE SIDELINES AND WATCH HOW TWO GIRLS ONE CUP IS DONE!" To this day she doesn't know.

– John

In my first two years of college, I played Division III tennis. We were terrible and frequented the basement of our conference. Our coach, whose recruiting class totaled one last year (and he quit before the season started), finally realized that we weren't going to win. Right before we were about to hit the courts for a match, he told us: "You all probably aren't going to win out there, so just try to get a couple of games off of them." We lost.

– William

My sophomore year in high school my swim team was on the bus to a meet. Most of the guys and I were club swimmers and didn't practice with the high school team and didn't know the high school coach very well. As he was reading out the lineup for the night he reminds those in the breaststroke events "Always remember, two-hand touch on the breast!!!" Needless to say the bus erupted.

– Ben

The kicker on my high school football team was a German exchange student. Our coach was an old curmudgeony guy who wasn't very, shall I say … "politically correct". Needless to say, this didn't end well. Kris could kick the crap out of the ball due to his soccer background, but he was worthless for tackling if the returner ever got to his level. At halftime of one game in which there had been a kick return for a touchdown, our coach goes over to him and yells: "GODDAMIT, Kris! You're a German, aren't you? If the kick returner gets to you, INVADE HIS ASS AND KILL HIM!"

– Tanner

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Send your "Overheard From A Coach", "Overheard At The Game" or "Overheard At The Gym" or embarrassing sports apparel and memorabilia you have owned stories to OverheardSP at gmail.