David Stern Hoping Total Fan Apathy Will Crush Players Union

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NBA commissioner David Stern announced on Monday that the first two weeks of the NBA regular season have been cancelled, a move that was met by resounding indifference from all but the league's most diehard fans.

"Well, sure, I was hoping people would freak out like they did about the possibility of the NFL missing games, but we're not the NFL," said Stern. "I'm just happy the news made it into most newspapers."

Fan messages posted on the league website, NBA.com, captured fan apathy.

"YES! The season should be no longer than 60 or 65 games anyway. Much better product that way," wrote LakeShow99.

"I couldn't care less, but at least now I won't feel compelled to watch awful, early-season games. So that's good," posted jkz123.

"Hello, everyone. Do you people know what hockey is? I invite you to watch it. There's a league called the NHL. They have uniforms and everything," wrote GaryBettmanOfficial.

But Stern hopes that the average sports fan not caring about the NBA missing the start of the regular season will force the players to accept the demands of the owners.

"The players are making good money now, despite the fact that a lot of people don't give a crap about the NBA," said Stern. "Hopefully they'll realize that now and take whatever they can get before the whole league folds."

Players union chief Billy Hunter echoed Stern's views.

"The owners are making good money now, despite the fact that a lot of people don't give a crap about the NBA," said Hunter. "Hopefully they'll realize that now and take whatever they can get before the whole league folds."

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