From a Coach: Issue #5

Ever hear a coach say something horrible and/or hilarious? Send your submissions to OverheardSP at gmail. Or submit for future editions about things overheard at a game, at the gym or terrible sports gifts you've received.

During my sophomore year of high school, we had a varsity baseball coach who was teaching all the freshman and sophomore players the finer points of hitting. He was pissed at us while demonstrating. At one point he shouts "Now you don't grip the bat too hard. This is not your dick, it's a baseball bat." A couple people laughed, but we weren't sure if he was joking or not. I had to stifle my laughter.

- Mike

During basketball practice 8th grade year, one of the players on our team was mouthing off to our coach. The coach then proceeded to say, "Sean, take your pants off and go into my office!" After realizing every player was snickering at his goof, he said "I meant change your clothes!"

- Bradley

My high school wrestling coach was only in his 40's but was pretty old school when it came to race relations. There were three black guys on the team, and they had to face various indignities like "color-coordinating" the team picture, which meant spreading them out evenly among the team. The best though was whenever one of them was sick and missed practice, Coach would say, "what, does he have sickle cell or something?"

- John

My football coach once had the strangest speech before we started our state football game. He said that we had to be loose and that we couldn't be too tight, and then he went and said how our "assholes" themselves couldn't be too tight or else we would lose. He said that with tight assholes we would be too nervous and not play up to our potential. We had to have loose assholes in order to win the game. He said this speech in front of our entire team and in complete seriousness. I could never take him serious after this speech.

- Charlie

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Send your "Overheard From A Coach", "Overheard At The Game" or "Overheard At The Gym" or embarrassing sports apparel and memorabilia you have owned stories to OverheardSP at gmail.

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