Why All of Your NFL Fantasy Picks Suck

*11. Roddy White, WR, Falcons* — The Falcons traded their entire draft away to pick WR Julio Jones. That was stupid. But not as stupid as you taking a guy who will no longer dominate Atlanta's passing attack.

12. Rashard Mendenhall, RB, Steelers — Remember how James Harrison told "Men's Journal" that Mendenhall is a "fumble machine"? Harrison later apologized to Mendenhall. He shouldn't have.

13. Frank Gore, RB, 49ers — Gore hasn't made it through a full 16-game schedule once since 2006 AND he's unhappy and wants a trade. So, yeah, he's going to be super productive for you!!! But, who knows, maybe this pick can work out. Just petition your league to make fumble recoveries an offensive stat, because Gore will get a lot of those playing with Alex Smith.

14. Greg Jennings, WR, Packers — No negativity here. Greg Jennings is a solid pick. Too bad no one has ever won a fantasy league with a team of solid picks.

15. Michael Turner, RB, Falcons — Another safe, solid pick. Good work. Now if you can just get Kyle Orton, 4th place is yours! BOOM!

16. Drew Brees, QB, Saints — Your selection of Drew Brees was not intercepted. That's surprising. And unfortunate for your team.

17. Hakeem Nicks, WR, Giants — Look, everyone makes mistakes. Don't beat yourself up over it. You meant to draft someone good and instead you accidentally said "Hakeem Nicks."

18. Calvin Johnson, RB, Lions — Hmm. Interesting. You really wanted to throw your lot in with the No. 1 receiving target of Shaun Hill? (Let's not pretend that Matthew Stafford will stay healthy beyond the first offensive series of the regular season.) Well, at least you won't feel the need to put a lot of time into managing your team and adjusting your roster every week because you are out of contention already.

19. Steven Jackson, RB, Rams — Jackson has nearly 1,900 career carries and last year posted his career low in yards per carry with a 3.8 AVG. He's about to fall off the Eddie George/Shaun Alexander cliff. Drafting the NBA Stephen Jackson with the guns really wouldn't have been a much worse selection.

20. Tom Brady, QB, Patriots — You're doing the draft completely wrong. You're supposed to talk about hot chicks at your fantasy draft, not draft hot chicks at your fantasy draft. Idiot.