Vikings Acquire, Bench Donovan McNabb

The Minnesota Vikings announced today that they have acquired Donovan McNabb to be the team's new starting quarterback. The team also announced at the end of the press conference that McNabb has been benched indefinitely.

"I'm sorry, but as the press conference went on, I just realized that McNabb wasn't a good fit and that I really would prefer almost anyone else playing quarterback for us," said Vikings vice president Rick Spielman. "Nothing against Donovan. He's a good guy."

McNabb, who was smiling and excited when he was first introduced, sat stone-faced beside Spielman at the end as he learned that he had already lost his job.

"It's tough. It's a tough situation," said McNabb, minutes after the event. "I've been kicked in the teeth a lot during my career, often times out of nowhere and completely unprovoked. But this is probably the worst one. I didn't expect to get benched until we played two or three preseason games at the earliest."

Fletcher Smith, McNabb's longtime agent, says he would like the Vikings to now trade his client to a team where he could start, but doubts that will happen.

"Maybe it's just best he lay low, accept this as his major, public humiliation of 2011, wait it out for a year and maybe see if someone will let him play next year," said Smith. "I just think he needs some stability for a while. Especially because I'll soon have to break it to him that I've been sleeping with his wife."

However, McNabb says he's known about the affair for quite some time.

"Hey, at the end of the day, I know I still have the capability to be a good husband," he said. "I just wish they wouldn't have sex right in front of me. It's a little disrespectful. Even I have my breaking point."