Saddest Person Ever Begs Athlete for a ReTweet

"Hey @KingJames, I have a big sales presentation in an hour," Twitter user @MooreMan77 wrote this morning, "Would be huge for me if you hit me with a RT."

And so David Moore, a pharmaceutical salesman based out of Omaha, Nebraska, sat in front of his computer and waited to see if Lebron James would give him the desired ReTweet. It never came.

"It was a big disappointment not to get that ReTweet," said Moore. "My presentation still went okay without it, but I know I would have done even better if Lebron had mentioned me on Twitter."

Moore says he regularly asks athletes to give him a ReTweet, and has actually had a few successes.

"My daughter turned 2 last month," he said. "I asked a bunch of athletes on Twitter to give me a ReTweet for my daughter's second birthday. Some guy, I think he plays for the Columbus Crew, did it. It was so awesome."

Moore printed out the Tweet and showed it to his daughter, but she didn't seem to care.

"Maybe she's too young," he said. "I'll save it for her. When she's 16 this will be huge."

Moore's co-workers, who call him "the most pathetic person ever," "a total loser," "and "sad, just so sad," among other things, say they are even surprised he has a daughter.

"I can't believe someone actually had sex with him," said an intern. "He probably just badgered the poor woman on Twitter until she relented and had sex with him."

Moore did not respond to the comments of his peers. However, this post did appear on his Twitter:

"Hey @ochocinco. Just found out all my friends hate me and don't respect me. You could really boost my spirits with a RT."