David Stern Signs Deal to Commission in Europe

David Stern
NBA commissioner David Stern announced today that he plans to commission in Europe this fall if the lockout is not resolved by the start of the NBA season.

"There are several top European leagues that have approached me about commissioning," said Stern. "And while I hope the lockout ends, I love commissioning and want to do it wherever there is a good opportunity."

And Stern might be just the first NBA front office executive to find other employment away from the NBA. Deputy commissioner Adam Silver is said to be weighing offers to deputy commission in Europe next season.

Stern is currently leaning towards being commissioner of the Turkish league, but will also open to offers from Italy and Israel. Yet while the commissioner insists he is serious about commissioning overseas and is set to sign a contract, many see his announcement as a ploy attempting counteract the growing trickle of NBA players to Europe.

The commissioner even acknowledges as much.

"Do I want to keep doing what I love, no matter where? Sure," said Stern. "But would it also be the biggest dick move ever, and also the crowning achievement of my career and my life, if all these NBA players go to Europe and then I just become the commissioner there and lock them out overseas, too? Definitely! I would be filled with joy."

Stern says he will force a work stoppage in every basketball league in the world if he has to.

"I'll tear your son's Nerf hoop down if I think it will help me beat the players," he said.

Meanwhile, in an attempt to model the NBA players, NFL quarterback Tom Brady said he is willing to play next season in the Turkish league, but quickly learned there isn't one.