Some Other Guy Good at Tennis Now, Too

According to several sources close to men's tennis, there is a third guy who isn't Roger Federer or Rafael Nadal who is now good at the sport.

"I've been looking through some of the results of recent tournaments, and there is a new guy whose name keeps coming up," said ATP chairman Adam Helfant. "No, not Andy Roddick. He's not good. It's a guy I never heard of before. He has a weird, foreign name."

Rafael Nadal says he has also noticed a new player who doesn't lose to him all the time.

"Just the other day I lost a match and I ran up to the net to shake Roger's hand only … it wasn't Roger!" said Nadal. "It was a totally different, non-Roger Federer guy. I thought I was having a dream. Only it would be a recurring dream, because he's beaten me more than once, whoever he is, if he really does exist. Do you know his name? No? Then let's call him Dream Man."

While Nadal believes there may really be a new tennis player who is good, Federer is skeptical.

"I don't know. I really doubt it," he said. "I've been doing this a long time and for a while it was just me and then Rafa came along. But other than that, everyone has been complete crap. I think the guy you are referring to is Nadal, just with a different haircut and clothes that aren't quite as weird."

The new guy says he is not a disguised Nadal.

"I beat Nadal, so that's impossible," said the new guy. "Could I be Federer in disguise? Who knows. I guess we'll never know until one of us learns my name. I don't even know it. It's very weird and foreign-sounding and I honestly never thought I'd accomplish enough to use brain space remembering it. Maybe I was wrong. I guess I'll call my parents and find out what my name is."