More Appropriate At-Bat Songs for 6 MLB Players

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Why It Fits: Consider these lyrics …

How deep is your love
I really need to learn
Cause we're living in a world of fools
Breaking us down
When they all should let us be
We belong to you and me

If Albert Pujols hasn't said these exact words to Cardinals GM John Mozeliak about getting a new contract, he needs to right away … before the "world of fools" "break them down." (coughCubsGMJimHendrycough)

Plus, the Bee Gees were really popular in the late '70s when Albert Pujols was in high school, so it's a perfect fit.

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Why It Fits: There is about a 100-percent chance this Rod Stewart, uh … "classic" is running through A-Rod's head 24 hours a day anyway, so why not just make it his official at-bat song?

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Why It Fits: Miguel Cabrera personifies the "Bootylicious" mentality: he's confident, he's successful and he has a ginormous, jiggly ass.

Nothing would terrify a pitcher more than seeing Cabrera gyrate to the plate with the bases full, mouthing "I don't think you're ready for this jelly."

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Why It Fits: There is nothing I am more certain of in the world than that A.J. Pierzynski is a Nickelback fan. He could enjoy his crap music as he comes to the plate, while annoying everyone in the stadium. I can't believe I had to think of this for him. I always assumed he sat up nights, sipping Smirnoff Ice and thinking up new ways to be an insufferable douche.

Oh, I almost forgot, Creed works for this, too.

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Why It Fits: Team owner Frank McCourt should order every member of the Dodgers to come to the plate with this song on. Who knows how much longer he'll be involved with the franchise. He needs to make the most of his opportunities to imply his ex-wife is a money-grubbing whore in front of 56,000 people while he still can.

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Why It Fits: "Taps" is played at the end of the day. Or at a hero's funeral. The sun is setting on Jeter's career and what are his at-bats now if not the slow dying of a legend? The Yankees are paying $51 million for a 3-year funeral. The hors d'oeuvres better be good.


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