Jim Tressel Accepts Head Coaching Position at Little Sisters of the Poor State

2007 BCS National Championship Game: Florida v Ohio State
Hours after being forced to resign as head football coach at Ohio State due to several ongoing scandals, Jim Tressel has accepted the position of head coach at Little Sisters of the Poor State University.

LSPSU — a small, Roman Catholic college for women in rural Ohio — has gained notoriety in recent years for its non-conference schedule, and school officials have been looking for a head coach that can help them be more competitive.

"We believe in forgiveness and redemption," said Sister Mary Catherine, LSPSU president. "Mr. Tressel has very publicly erred and we believe he will now be on his best behavior — the kind of behavior we expect here at Little Sisters. Beyond that we just want him to coach our young women up."

Little Sisters instantly moved to snatch Tressel up due to his success against low-level competition, and he quickly accepted.

"Coaching young nuns-in-training presents a new challenge for me," said Tressel. "Both in that they are a low-level program and also for the fact that they have ethics. That's a new atmosphere for me. But I am excited. And I also don't really have any other job offers right now."

"Jim only beat the SEC once and that was when he was cheating," said Sister Mary Catherine. "But we're not looking to beat the SEC. We just want to beat teams like Akron and Dayton and Ohio University and Indiana and Minnesota. Those are the teams he was really great against."

Tressel inherits a team that was winless last season, but has some potential. Little Sisters narrowly lost to several Big Ten schools, including Ohio State, despite playing their games in a full habit.

"Our players are undersized," says Tressel. "Our line averages 5-foot-6 and 153 pounds. But at the skill positions, we have much more speed than I have ever seen in the Big Ten."