Tom Brady is not only one of the greatest quarterbacks of his generation, it also seems he is one of the greatest pranksters of all-time.
The New England Patriots star admitted today that his overtly feminine behavior in recent years, behavior that has intensified in the past few weeks, has just been an elaborate ruse intended to show "the discordant link between celebrity perception and reality in our culture."
"I'm not really this soft and lady-like," said Brady, grabbing at the long, flowing hair framing his face. "I don't really want to look like this. I mean, come on. I don't really start crying when I talk about the NFL Draft. I don't really wear pigtails. I don't really wear Uggs. I don't dance by myself to Samba music. I don't have my wife feed me grapes poolside. I don't I can't even remember everything I've done anymore. There's been so much and it's gone on for so long."
Brady says he began his experiment after his breakup with former girlfriend Bridget Moynahan.
"I felt the media didn't cover that fairly, that I was painted as the bad guy, so I decided to mess with them," says Brady, "by experimenting with my appearance and behavior."
Soon Brady started whining and slapping the ground whenever he was touched on the field. Off the field, his hair and attire became more like that of a European football star than an American football star.
"But it wasn't enough for what I was trying to do," said Brady. "The perception was that I was just enthralled with my new supermodel wife, Gisele, and was being influenced by that fashion world. I had to do more."
That was a year ago. Since then Brady has been on a relentless campaign to paint himself in the most absurd light possible.
"And now I just have to stop. It's too much. It's absurdist. It's over-the-top," says Brady. "Actual women aren't this womanly. Not even close. I felt I was starting to just do a cheap stereotype of a female when most females I know are much more stronger mentally and physically than the character I have been playing for the past few years."
But with his ruse at an end, Brady says he successfully made his point.
"Don't believe everything you see and hear in the media," he said. "It's not reality. I'm not a delicate, little, weeping flower. I'm the tough quarterback who won Super Bowls."
Brady says he will, however, continue wearing women's underwear.
"They are incredibly comfortable," he said.