The Gym: Issue #14

Ever hear something horrible and/or hilarious at the gym? Send your submissions to OverheardSP at gmail. Or submit for future editions about games.

At my gym, there's this guy that always wears shorts, but never any type of underwear. How do I know this? Because when he uses the seated pec fly machine (located right in front of the pull-up bar that I use for a lot of my workouts), he spreads his leg and at least on ball will droop out onto the seat. After one long set at the machine, he got up to get some wipes to disinfect the seat. On the seat, there was one circle of sweat, exactly where his ball had been.

– Lee

I used to go to the local YMCA to work out because they have a pool and a basketball court. One day while swimming a few laps, an elderly gentleman was finishing up his set and climbed out the pool. He drops his shorts right there, rings them out into the pool and casually walks into the change room, just flapping in the wind.

Everyone's jaws drop as they look away in disgust. The lifeguard wasn't even fazed one bit as he looked up slowly from whatever he was reading, didn't even blink, and went back to reading. Judging by his reaction I assumed this was a regular occurrence.

No more YMCA for me.

– Rob

There is a pretty girl who comes to my gym a few times a week. She spends 90-percent of her time on the ThighMaster machine — repeatedly opening and contracting her legs. Last week for the first I heard her speak and she has an Eastern European accent.

My friends and I now have a theory that she might be like that one lady spy in that Bond movie who her crushed her lovers/spies with her thighs. Should we tell someone?

– Lindsay

So I'm at the gym and there's this little, old Chinese guy on the dip machine. He climbs up there and starts doing dips, but with his elbows bending the wrong way, going in, instead of out.

He must have been double-jointed or something, but it was one of the weirdest/grossest things I've ever seen. I don't know what kind of muscle the dude was working or if he was just showing off, or was in some kind of freak accident or what, but pretty much everyone in the gym just stopped what they were doing and started staring at him with their jaws dropped. Gnarly.

– Logan