The Gym: Issue #12

Ever hear something horrible and/or hilarious at the gym? Send your submissions to OverheardSP at gmail. Or submit for future editions about games.

I have worked at a gym for quite a while. I was talking to a member once about the steam room and the reason I never go in it; I consider it a sess pool. His response, after telling me how relaxing it was, went along the lines of: "Well, if you do, don't sit on the bottom step," and made the motion of jerking off. Needless to say, that was more than enough incentive to never step foot in a steam room again.

– Pat

My schedule of classes got switched around this semester, so my workout times have changed to the early morning. It's unreal the difference of people based on what time of day it is. I was accustomed to a steady dose of former high school athletes, fraternity/sorority types, and, in general, your typical, run of the mill college students in the mid afternoon, but I got a glimpse of the "morning crowd" on the first day of classes.

The very first words I heard coming into the weight room: "Ya know, there's always been paranoia about the zombie apocalypse. But I'm starting to buy in to it and get freaked out. Stuff's happening man, I just want some answers… ."

Welcome to the morning crowd.

– Mark

Being a hardcore weightlifter for 10 years now, I have seen enough crazy gym stuff to fill a book. However, this one takes the cake for being the absolute craziest thing I have ever seen during those 10 years. During my career as a powerlifter there was one incident I will never forget. In my first contest, there was this one guy who would be opening with a huge squat. To pump himself up, he began to scream like a banshee and smash his head on the stack of plates on the bar. That led to him busting his head open and starting a blood geyser; it was literally everywhere. They cleaned everything up and put a little tiny band aid on his head so he could lift. I guess some people should really stay on their medication!

– Emanuele

One day my freshman year of college, I walked back into the public locker room of my fitness building after a nice swim. Our locker room has one full-length mirror, and when I turn the corner I see an old man, probably about 50, standing completely naked in front of the mirror with one leg on a chair, blow drying his wrinkly nut sack.

When I left, I saw a friend walking to the locker room and warned him about the guy, and he said he was blow drying himself for another 10 minutes.

– Mike

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Send your "Overheard At The Game" or "Overheard At The Gym" stories to OverheardSP at gmail.