Augusta National: A challenging run of holes on the back 9 — holes 11, 12 and 13 — made famous on television by picturesque azaleas and dogwoods in bloom.
Your Course: That par-4 on the back-corner of the course that has a sharp dog-leg because the course designer ran out of real estate when the hole butted up against the interstate. On the other side of the highway there is a pentecostal church with a big, neon JESUS SAVES sign that you hear humming on the green (when there isn't heavy truck traffic that drowns it out).
Augusta National: A Loblolly Pine some 210 yards off the 17th tee that President Eisenhower, an Augusta member, frequently hit with his drives.
Your Course: The dead pine some 10 yards off the 7th tee which your buddy Dave Eisenhower always takes a leak on.
Augusta National: A meandering creek that flows through the lowest portion of the Augusta course and comes into play on the 11th, 12th and 13th holes.
Your Course: A creek near where the hot snack cart girl, Rae, is often positioned. Your buddy Dave Eisenhower always says how he wants to "accidentally" bump her into the creek because if she got all wet it would be easy to see through her shirt. Eisenhower is a pig.
Augusta National: A towering oak tree, dating to the 1850s, that stands between Augusta's stately clubhouse and the legendary course.
Your Course: An old oak tree, which stands outside the course's rundown clubhouse (glorified shed), whose trunk has been overgrown by poison oak for several years. Yet no matter how much people complain the club won't cut it down.
Augusta National: An historic, stone, walking bridge stretching over Rae's creek on the 12th hole and named for golf legend Ben Hogan.
Your Course: A narrow, wooden, walking bridge over a drainage ditch that cuts through the middle of the 12th hole that one time your buddy Hogan tried to drive a golf cart across. The cart was too wide, the bridge broke, Hogan broke his leg and was banned from the course.
Augusta National: A cabin along the course used by President Eisenhower when he came to the club.
Your Course: A portable toilet along the course always used by your buddy Eisenhower to take a No. 2. You need to get new friends.