The Gym: Issue #10

Ever hear something horrible and/or hilarious at the gym? Send your submissions to OverheardSP at gmail. Or submit for future editions about games.

It was the normal douche-fest at my gym. These three guys who were benching decide to stand on top of the bench and have a pull-up competition off of a beam running alongside a heat vent. (I should note there were actual pull-up bars nearby.)

So the gym manager yells at them to get down. The one guy hangs a little longer and then releases like he just dunked on someone. Because he's a douche. Doing this rattled the air vent and as he landed a dead mouse fell out of the vent and landed on his shoulder. I've still never heard a scream as high-pitched as that brah's scream.

I keep renewing my gym membership partly to stay in shape but also just to marvel at the idiots that go there.

– Will

There is this guy at my gym, he's probably about 40, who has been there for a few years and only works his legs. That's it. He doesn't even do abs. Just legs. He is like the complete opposite of every stereotype about meatheads with huge upper bodies and spindly, string legs.

His legs are HUGE. Like speed skater/NFL running back size. And then his upper body is built like a 10 year-old boy. He is shaped like a triangle. In a way, he almost looks like a centaur. It's so weird.

Me and my friends have always wondered why he does this. My buddy recently asked him, as casually as possible, if he had a shoulder injury or something. The guy said: "No. I believe in building a good base and working from the bottom up."

At this rate he'll get to his shoulders when he's 85 years-old.

– Deon

Last week I read the story about the guy getting a chub while bench pressing and being known as "Stiffy." The same thing happened to a freshman who had been home-schooled prior to arriving at our school. Even 8 years later, 75% of our high school still doesn't know his real name, only the nickname given that day: "Boner."

– Steven

Pretty sure I heard my first queef last week as a girl was doing the leg press. I will never forget it. Although I wish I could.

– Bob